


my last decision is

by lourrygum



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Boys In Love, Boys bein dumb, Fetus sos, Light Angst, M/M, Pining, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-21
Updated: 2015-10-21
Packaged: 2018-04-27 11:16:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5046316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lourrygum/pseuds/lourrygum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He just doesn't want to feel anything. Not for Luke. He doesn't know why he can't. He's his bandmate for Christ's sake.</p><p>or, luke is cute and michael is mad about it</p>
            </blockquote>





	my last decision is

**Author's Note:**

> i like the idea of fetus clemmimgs not knowimg what to do with their feel*ngs way too much

Michael can hear Fall Out Boy playing loud and clear as he walks up to Calum's garage. Smiling a little, he bangs on the door to be let in. Already he knows that not going to school today was a good decision.

It's one in the afternoon and Calum had spent the day in his garage, watching TV and songwriting until his mum left for work at midday, like he usually did when he skipped school. Then, he'd text Michael to come over and Michael would grab his guitar and go.

The garage door opens up slowly and Michael's gotten used to ducking down and rolling underneath it instead of waiting for it to come all the way up. It's quicker and it makes him feel like a secret agent, rolling his way into his mission. A sixteen year old secret agent with a lot of hair that wears a lot of t-shirts.

Overall, he's in good humour. It's October, really coming into the height of winter so the usual frying heat of Australia in the summer has died down a little. Plus, he had just figured out the chorus of the song he and Calum had been working on, after nearly a month of trial and error. He had changed the chords around a little, played with the lyrics, and it had turned out pretty good.

Giggling, he sits up to face Calum. His smile drops and so does his good mood.

He narrows his eyes at the blond sitting on the only sofa in the room, taking up all the room with his long long legs. His hair is flopping down over his eyes and he pushes the fringe back to look up at Michael, kind of running his fingers through it. Michael wants to hurl. He's made himself completely at home, strumming away on his guitar. He smiles at Michael, but the smile fades away when Michael does. He had obviously thought that Michael was smiling at him.

"What are you doing here?" Michael asks him, raising an eyebrow when Luke doesn't reply immediately, looking to Calum instead. Michael is disgusted. If he was going to invade on their band practice, he should at least give a valid reason. He's a little surprised that he's here at all, and not at school or guiltily trying to catch up on the work he would've missed today. Michael's not even sure if they can trust him to keep his mouth shut about the whole playing hookie thing.

"Don't start something, Mikey," Calum sighs tiredly.

"You don't start something." Michael frowns, standing up off the floor and folding his arms. Luke bites his lip and sits up a straighter, obviously a little uncomfortable. "What's he doing here?" It's bad enough that Michael has to deal with this kid at school but now Calum is bringing him to band practice and he's pissed. He has a right to be.

Calum shrugs, looking from Luke to Michael, hesitating before begining to speak. "Luke's my friend, and he's not bad at guitar. He can sing too, really sing. He does YouTube videos, don't you, Luke?" Calum gives Luke an encouraging nod, and apparently this is his cue to start talking, sell himself to Michael.

"Uh, yeah. I do some videos. Covers and stuff."

Riveting. Michael rolls his eyes and turns back to face Calum, an eyebrow raised as if to say, this kid can barely even talk and you want him to sing in our band?

When Calum realizes Luke isn't going to say another word, especially with the disgust clear on Michael's face, he goes on. "They're good, really good. I watched them, and I asked if he'd mind having you in one of them someday. You could do a duet or- or something." Calum starts to hesitate when the anger on Michael's face becomes murderous.

"So you just organised all this behind my back?" He glares at Luke.

"No, I- Calum said you'd want to, I didn't see why not..."

"Why the fuck would I want to do a cover with you?" Michael spits.

Luke takes a deep breath, then shrugs, standing up, his guitar in his hands. "Whatever. I'll just go, I guess," He starts to make for the garage door and Calum huffs.

"Luke, wait," He calls just before he leaves. Luke stops and turns around and he looks so ridiculously hopeful that Michael wants to slap him. Calum turns to Michael and takes a step closer to him, whispering so Luke can't hear.

"I know you don't like Luke. I don't know why, and you don't have to tell me but you can't just waste this opportunity for our band because of your petty hate. He has people who watch his videos, really watch them and follow him and everything. He's nice, he hasn't done anything wrong and from how I'm seeing it, you're the one he should be avoiding but he's still polite as ever to you so stop being a fucking baby and feature in his goddamn Justin Bieber cover or so help me God-"

"Fine," Michael mutters eventually, looking sullenly at his feet. "If this is more important to you than my happiness-"

"He said he'll do it," Calum turns around to grin at Luke while Michael continues to not make eye contact with anyone and pick up his guitar.

"Really?" Michael can feel Luke's eyes on him. Michael starts to strum the chord for the chorus he'd worked all night on.

"Yeah. Ignore his attitude, he's a bit weird."

Luke chuckles softly. Michael wants to punch him in his big chuckling mouth.

"Alright then. Lets rehearse."

xxxx

"Okay so I was thinking that I could start off and then you could come in after the first few lines, then we could do the chorus together. You could do the rap if you want, or I could, I don't really mind but I think you'd be better, I'd probably fuck it up."

Michael is kind of impressed at how Luke says all this without stopping to take a breath. His expression remains blank, though, just looking up from his guitar to shrug then looking back down. When the weight of Luke's silence hits him, however, he finds himself being able to see his hurt expression even though he's not looking at his face.

"I guess you could do the rap, then." Luke continues after a little while. Michael darts a glance at him from underneath his fringe. "You'd probably be better than me at it. I already said that didn't I?"

"You don't have to be so... nice." Michael snaps. "I mean, I don't like you and you don't like me so just quit pretending yeah?"

"I'm trying to get along with you so we can make a decent crack at this band thing. You're not even trying!" Luke says suddenly, face flushing with annoyance.

Michael starts at the sudden outburst, something akin to a smile playing on his lips. He had just known Luke wasn't as spineless as he seemed to be. It doesn't make Michael like him any more, but it makes him hate him a little less. If that makes sense.

"I don't want to be in any band you're in."

"Ditto."

They glower at each other.

"Let's just get this stupid cover over with so I can go home." Michael grumbles, checking the tuning of his guitar. This band wasn't going anywhere with both him and Luke in it. Calum would just have to suck it up and find another boy who makes YouTube covers.

xxxx

"You fucking didn't." Michael says to Calum when he rolls under the garage door later that week to find Luke sitting there. Luke, instead of getting that startled fawn look on his face, rolls his eyes at Michael. Michael grits his teeth,

"Hear me out." Calum flashes his palms in surrender. "I have a good reason."

"I told you it wasn't going to work out! Who's your best friend here, me or him?" Michael folds his arms.

Calum sighs, getting up and sitting at the old desktop computer set up in the corner of the room. When Michael remains by the garage door, Calum turns around, gesturing for him to come closer. Begrudgingly, Michael takes a few steps in his direction. Calum's pulled up his and Luke's cover.

"Haven't you checked the views?" Luke asks from behind him. Michael flips him off without turning in his direction; as if Luke can't see that that;s what he trying to do. He crouches next to Calum and his eyebrows shoot right up under his fringe when he sees that it's gotten 9000 views in just three days.

"Wow." He mutters, looking up at Calum, who's grinning so big his cheeks might split. Luke starts giggling at the sight, and Michael turns to glare at him but he sees how amused Luke is, the dimples cheels causing an unwanted reaction in him until he finds himself laughing too, and so does Calum until they're all laughing uncontrollably, Calum refreshing the YouTube page and watching the views increase each time.

"Nine thousand people saw us." Luke says after the laughter has died down a little. "People came up to me at school, they told me they liked it and stuff."

"Yeah, I noticed." Calum waggles his eyebrows at Luke, and Luke flushes. "Luke's getting quite a lot of attention lately."

Today was the first time Calum went to school since they did the cover, so he obviously saw this firsthand. Michael looks at Calum. "Really?"

"Yeah, surrounded by every girl in our form, practically." Calum continues while Luke's blush deepens. Michael feels his stomach drop inexplicably.

"Not really." Luke tries.

"Don't be modest, Lukey." Calum grins, before catching the look on Michael's face.

"Oh, don't be jealous, Michael. They'd be all over you too if you'd only fucking come to school sometimes."

"'M not jealous. Now can we start rehearsal? I'm not here to waste time." He gets up, picking his song notebook out of bis backpack. Calum lets out a whistle at his sudden attitude, which Michael ignores. Michael also ignores the way Luke's eyes follow him around for the rest of the evening.

xxxx

Michael actually goes to school on Friday, only because he has a double period of Music. Calum and Luke were not exaggerating and he is swarmed by girls and guys alike, all wanting to talk about the cover and the views and if they can come to any shows their band might play.

Michael answers their questions with a smile because it's so surreal. They're just their school friends but it's like- like having fans, people that want to see them play live, who like their videos, want to ask them questions. The thought of playing shows, even just small gigs for now; it makes Michael giddy. He smiles all day, he smiles when a group of people follow him for the rest of the day, he smiles when Mr. Mattheo hounds him about his English homework (then gets a detention threat for being cheeky), he even smiles back at Luke's reassuring smile when Mr Mattheo finally lets it drop.

He feels okay, really okay.

Lunch comes and he goes to sit with Calum, like he usually does when he goes to school. Luke is there and Michael's not even surprised; where else would Luke be? He seems to be one of them now and Michael still isn't sure how he feels about that but figures he should try to at least be cordial for now.

"So I thought of something, last night." Michael announces, pulling out a chair and sitting down.

"Yeah?" Luke answers, mouth full of food.

"Five Seconds of Summer." He announces with a grin, not exactly speaking directly at Luke, but not actively trying to exclude him either. When he gets no response, he adds, somewhat defensivlely, "I've already made the Facebook page so if you don't like it, too bad."

"I like it it." Calum reassures him. Michael finds himself looking at Luke, waiting for his approval. Luke nods, a small smile on his lips.

"I love it."

xxxx

Michael's been picking on Luke all day.

It had started off as light teasing, nothing major. They'd been at the whole band thing for about a month and found a drummer in that time. His name was Ashton and everyone had at least a little crush on him. He was older and very responsible and had whipped theor asses into shape only a few days after joining.

Ashton has joined Calum to scold Michael about how much he picks on Luke who, frankly, they treat like a baby. Michael figures they should all fuck off. If Luke has a problem he could speak for himself. He finds himself ramping up the teasing whenever someone tells him to stop.

They're in Ashton's bedroom at the moment, not exactly having band practice but just bonding as a band. Ashton likes to call it banding. Michael would tease him a lot too if it didn't look like Ashton might kick him if he tried.

"'M really glad this is all working out." Luke says after a short silence. Calum is playing FIFA on single player, but he pauses to smile at the other three boys lazing around on the bed.

"Me too. I thought it would last a day then we'd all give up."

"Quitters are losers." Ashton chimes in with a wise nod. Calum rolls his eyes.

"Yes Uncle Ashton."

Luke notices Michael hasn't said anything. Michael can feel his eyes on him but he focuses determinedly on the TV screen, refusing to pay attention to any blue-eyed boys with ridiculous hair.

Eventually, after about two minutes of Luke's stare boring into Michael's face, Michael snaps, turning to face Luke with a glare,

"Can I help you?"

"Are you okay?" Luke blurts, like the question has been on the tip of his tongue for a while. "You've been really quiet."

"As opposed to what? Running my mouth and saying every first thing that comes to mind? We can't all be like you."

Luke visibly flinches. Michael's stomach twists.

"I wasn't-" he begins.

"Would you ever shut up about the band? It's all 'I'm glad this is working out' and 'everythings so great', you just go on and on and on. We fucking get it, Luke."

"Michael," Ashton warns quietly.

"It's not like we're keeping you around for much longer anyway. There's thousands of singers out there that can do exactly what you can do- even better."

"I wasn't-" Luke tries again, but he cuts himself off, looking down at his hands. Michael knows how much his words have hurt him even before Luke's shoulders start shaking with silent sobs. Ashton immediately goes fpr him, wrapping his arms around him and rocking him back and forth, whispering things Michael can't hear.

Michael feels a little sick. His own hands start to shake a little, and when he looks away from Luke and at the faces of his other two bandmates, they both look furious and concerned. Its easy to pinpoint which emotion is aimed at who.

Michael's said some shit in the past, but never this bad. Luke's never cried. Michael's never felt quite so shitty afterwards.

"Maybe you should go." Ashton says to Michael. Calum has come over to console Luke too, blocking him from Michael's sight. Michael wants to. He feels terrible. He doesn't want Luke to feel terrible, he doesn't, he just-

He just doesn't want to feel anything. Not for Luke. He doesn't know why he can't. He's his bandmate for Christ's sake. He fucking hates feelings.

"Luke," Michael whispers after a little bit.

"I mean it, Michael!" Ashton's yelling at him now. "Get the fuck out right now. You're just a fucking bully, you know that?"

Michael shakes his head, raising his voice a little. "Luke." His throat feels tight and his head is burning. He realises, a little late that he's starting to cry.

Luke sniffles and looks up, Calum moving to the side a little so he can see Michael. Calum looks threatening, silently warning Michael.

Luke's eyes are a little red, and he's nearly bitten his lip raw. He wipes at his face with his sleeve.

"What? You weren't finished? Have some more to say?" Luke mutters. Michael shakes his head again, and moves closer to Luke, kneeling in front of him.

"I'm sorry."

Luke's eyes scan Michael's face. "Dunno why you're crying. I'm the one who has to be in a band with someone who hates me."

"I don't. I don't hate you." Michael breathes a sigh of relief as he admits it out loud.

"Could've fooled me," Luke says, almost smiling. Ashton and Calum have backed off a little with the murderous stares now that they're sure Michael isn't going to pull anything.

"Could you guys give us a sec?" Michael asks, looking up at then other two. They look hesitant, looking at Luke first.

"I'll scream if he tries to murder me." Luke promises.

Satisfied, they both up and leave. Michael has no doubt that they're eavesdropping behind the door.

When they're gone, Michael looks at Luke. He really lets himself look at him. From his messy blond hair, to his expressive blue eyes, to his little button nose, to his pretty pink lips, he just... looks.

"Can I kiss you?" Michael blurts before he can stop himself. Luke blinks in surprise, staring at Michael. Michael's fingers dig into his thighs hard and he kicks himself for being so stupid. All these years of skilful avoidance of his feelings, down the drain.

"Y-yeah." Luke whispers after a torturous moment. He pauses then adds, "Please."

"You're so polite." Michael says, leaning in a little. Luke exhales shakily, and Michael savours it, especially the way he bites his lip afterwards. "I love it." He assures him, before pressing his lips against his softly.

Kissing Luke is nice. Really nice. His lips are soft and he can feel the warmth of his body against him, especially as Luke deepens the kiss, brushing his tongue against Michael's bottom lip. Michael parts his lips and he feels Luke smile into the kiss and he can't help but feel like this is how it should be, always.

Their tongues slide against eachothers. Michael sighs softly, pulling Luke closer to him. Luke moans quietly and Michael feels warmth rush through him.

They pull apart slowly, and they're both grinning at eachother like idiots.

"Who'd have thought it?" Luke smirks (he actually fucking smirks. Michael thinks its beautiful and he definitely wants to see it more often) "All this time you were just hiding your secret passion for me,"

He's joking but he's hit the nail right on the head. When Michael doesn't reply, fidgeting a little instead, a blush heating up his cheeks, Luke gasps.

"You were hiding your secret passion for me, weren't you?" He giggles.

Michael rolls his eyes, but it's fond instead of filled with fake malice.

"Stop calling it a secret passion. But yeah. I liked you. I was just so sure you wouldn't like me, so I never said anything. Making you cry was horrible. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for everything, for calling you names and just being an asshole in general-"

"I was certain you wanted to kill me."

"God, I don't. I-" he takes a breath, and then takes ome of Luke's hands. "I really like you, Luke and- Christ, what lotion do you use? Your hands are so fucking soft."

Luke laughs again, waggling his eyebrows. "Guitarists secret. I like you too, by the way."

"I am a guitarist." Michael rolls his eyes again.I

"Yeah, yeah. Kiss me again?"

Michael grins. Who is he to refuse?

VvVvV

"Michael, are you going to answer the question or not?" Calum sighs, exasperated. Michael looks at him and is almost surprised to fimd a 19 year old man instead of the 16 year old boy.

"What was it again?" Michael asks

Ashton sighs, and Luke giggles, burrowing his head into the crook of Michael's neck.

"When did you and Luke stop hating eachother?"

"Oh, right." Michael says, smiling a little. "I dunno. It just happened."

Luke starts laughing. Michael joins him and Calum, annoyed, throws a large pillow at the both of them.

**Author's Note:**

> feedback is rad, my tumblr is gonnamuke.tumblr.com


End file.
